How To Start A Conversation?
Should I start with hey?
There are smarter ways to start a conversation than “hey.” Erin Carson covered internet culture, online dating and the weird ways tech and science are changing your life. Expertise Erin has been a tech reporter for almost 10 years. Her reporting has taken her from the Johnson Space Center to San Diego Comic-Con’s famous Hall H. Credentials
She has a master’s degree in journalism from Syracuse University.
Let’s make one thing clear: The best approach to starting a conversation on a dating app isn’t “hey” or “hi” or any derivation thereof, unless you’re actively trying to get ignored. In which case, by all means go for it. I can almost promise you’ll end up in the hey stack of rejected matches. Read more Love Syncs In truth, “hey” might be a perfectly acceptable way to start a conversation with a friend or colleague. You start at “hey” and end up debriefing on Stranger Things, But here’s the deal: You’re not approaching someone you have a preexisting relationship with.
- You’re talking to a stranger on the internet who, in all likelihood, is trying to place a bet on which strangers from the internet they should talk to while fighting off the creeping numbness that comes along with flipping through 3 bazillion dating profiles.
- At best, “hey” is uninteresting; at worst, it’s rage-inducing.
“Hey” just isn’t going to cut it. This is partly because, as is the case with your photos, your bio and other profile elements, you’re making a pitch about yourself to the person you’re trying to talk to. What’s more, you’ve got a limited window to make that pitch before someone decides if they want to spend their time on you.
- Hey” doesn’t communicate seriousness, effort or promise that there will be decent conversation to come.
- In sum, “hey” is the worst thing since stepping on a wet spot on your kitchen floor while wearing socks.
- Don’t do it. Just. Don’t Do. It.
- So, what do you say? There’s no science here, folks.
- But the opposite of a soul-suckingly generic greeting is actually taking the time to look at a person’s profile.
Try asking them a question about something they’ve mentioned. Do they like to cook? Ask them what dish is their favorite to make. Into live music? Ask what bands are on their bucket list. Big Star Wars fan? Ask them why Obi-Wan Kenobi refuses to properly disguise himself,
You’re just trying to break the ice and veer into a more natural chat about whatever is actually interesting to you both. The first contact is a small hurdle to clear to get you toward either figuring out if the other person has the personality of a wet mop or if you’d like to meet up in person. Granted, you can scour the internet for cheeky opening questions like whether pineapple belongs on pizza (it does and I will fight you) or send along a GIF of a waving panda.
Yes, you can do that. It might work. I would argue, though, that’s a bit of an assembly line approach to trying to start a conversation. Keep in mind that when it comes to online dating, it’s easy to feel like you’re on some kind of nightmarish, overcrowded merry-go-round.
How do you start a cold text?
Hey Friend! – Start every cold SMS conversation with a simple greeting. A “hello,” “hi,” or “hey,” followed by the prospect’s first name. If you want to do a variation on this, (like “Hi, how’s it going?”) that’s fine, but don’t get into any specifics of who you are or why you’re texting them just yet.
How to chat with your crush?
Download Article Download Article You always see your crush online, but are afraid to start chatting. You’re worried that you won’t say the right thing or will run out of things to talk about. Don’t worry so much—talking to your crush online should be fun and stress -free! This wikiHow article will help you fine-tune your flirting techniques, get your crush’s attention, and make them want to see you in person in no time.
- 1 Don’t chat your crush the second he or she signs online. Your heart may race the second your crush signs on, but that doesn’t mean you have to race to start your conversation, It’s better to play it cool and look like you’re not just hanging around waiting for the second he or she signs on.
- Unless your crush is the kind of person who only signs on for a minute at a time, let some time pass-at least 10 or 15 minutes. Then your crush will see that while you want to continue your conversation, you have other things to do online. This will make you look less needy or clingy,
- Don’t wait too long or your crush won’t think you’re interested.
- 2 Have a fun and casual opening. When you do greet your crush, it’s important to start the conversation on the right foot so your crush wants to spend more time talking to you. The key here is to play it cool-but not too cool.
- Saying, “How are you?” or “What’s up?” is perfectly acceptable. Don’t try too hard to wow your crush with your opener.
- You can start with an interesting story about something that happened to you, something you were previously talking about, or something cool you just heard on the news. Again, keep it short and don’t try too hard.
- 3 Avoid always being the one who says “hi” first. It’s important to strike a balance in your relationship. You don’t want to be the one who always sends the first message, because there might be a chance that your crush may not be all that eager to talk to you after all.
- It may be the case that your crush is just shy and likes it when you make all the moves. But if this is the case, then it could be a sign that if you take your relationship to the next level, your crush will still expect you to do all the work. That could get annoying really fast.
- 1 Tease your crush. Once you get to know each other a little better, teasing will be a great way to flirt with your crush. This will show that you appreciate your crush’s quirks and that you don’t take life too seriously. Here are some great ways to tease your crush:
- If he’s really obsessed with a particular hobby, band, or activity, you can poke fun at him about that. If he’s obsessed with his guitar, for example, you can say, “How much time did you spend with your girlfriend today?”
- If you like sports teams who are rivals, you can tease him about how his team is going to lose that day without being too annoying about it.
- Don’t take your teasing too far. There’s a difference between poking fun at someone and insulting him or her, and it can be hard to tell the difference on the Internet.
- Show that you can be teased, too. He’ll be impressed that you’re confident enough for him to make fun of your foibles too.
- 2 Be witty, Your crush will be impressed by your quick wit and sense of humor, It can be tricky to show your scintillating sense of humor online, but if you can pull it off, your crush will be impressed. Here are some ways to wow your crush with your wit:
- Be quick. If your crush says something clever, say something back as quickly as you can to show that you can play ball.
- Be clever, Make a joke about a subject he knows a lot about to show that you’re well-read and understand what’s going on in the world.
- Be sarcastic, A little bit of sarcasm can go a long way. If you’re having a hard time in biology class, you can pretend to gush about how much you love dissecting frogs. Your crush will be charmed by you if you set the right tone.
- 1 Bring up interesting topics. To keep your crush engaged, you’ll have to find topics that are worth talking about. Make sure you find something that is not only interesting to you. Here are some ideas:
- If something particularly exciting is happening in the news, you could bring it up, especially if it just happened. You could say, “Did you hear about.?” Make sure you don’t pick anything too controversial, such as gun control, because you don’t want to start an argument before you really know your crush.
- If something out of the ordinary happened to you that day, tell your crush. If you ran into a celebrity, saw something crazy happen on the street, or got some big news, it could be worth talking about.
- Nothing will bore your crush faster than telling him or her about everything that happened to you that day. Unless you’re a secret agent or a superhero, chances are that most of your day is pretty mundane, and you don’t want to look like a narcissist by talking about what you had for breakfast like it’s the most fascinating topic in the world.
- 2 Find a common bond. If you’re looking to take your relationship beyond flirting, remember that common interests can be just as important as chemistry in a strong relationship. Your love is guaranteed to last longer if you share passions other than your passions for each other. Here are some things you may have in common:
- Music can be a great bond between two people, so try to strike up a conversation about music. If your crush has his or her ‘What I’m Listening To’ message working, look at the song he or she is listening to and say something like, “Oh, I love that band!” If the band is having a concert, you and your crush may even end up going together.
- Your love for the outdoors. If both of you love hiking, biking, or camping, that can be a great bond. The outdoors are not for everyone, and your crush will respect you if you share that love-and may even ask you to tag along on a hiking adventure.
- Your love for literature. If you both love good books, this will give you a lot to talk about. You can even impress him by recommending a great read, or reading a book he mentions. If the conversation is going well, you can even say, “Hey, I loved that book your recommended. Want to talk about it over coffee some time?”
- Your love for good movies. If you’re both into the movies, you will have plenty to talk about. You can casually mention a new film you’re excited to see and can wait for your crush to ask you to come along.
- 3 Show that you have a life outside of the internet. Make your crush see that you have a life outside of your computer. Mention your friends, your family, and definitely your interests, to show that your chat-life is just one small part of your fascinating personality. Here is how to show that your world is bigger than your chat screen:
- Without being boring, tell talk about your favorite hobby. If you love to go biking, tell your crush about it. Mention when you have to go because you’re going to pursue your hobby.
- Mention your favorite friends, and say when you have to go because you and your friends are going out to dinner, to a concert, or wherever. This will make you seem like a fun person, and he may even want to join.
- If you’re passionate about your studies or a certain subject in school, don’t be afraid to say so. Without looking like a nerd, you can show him that you really care about something-poetry or physics, for example. Remember that interesting people have interests, while boring people are bored by everything.
- 1 Subtly compliment your crush, Find ways to tell your crush what you really appreciate about him or her. This will show that you’re paying attention to what makes your crush special and that you’re a thoughtful person. Here are some ways to do it:
- Be casual. Say, “You’re so smart-I didn’t know that,” or “How interesting, I never would have thought of it that way!” This shows that you appreciate your crush’s insight without fawning all over him or her.
- Find what makes your crush special. If your crush loves running marathons, say, “It’s so impressive that you could do that.”
- Praise your crush’s achievements. Say something simple like, “I can’t believe you published a poem. That must have taken a lot of work!”
- If they’re are funny, compliment them on their character.
- 2 Take your crush’s advice. Show your crush that you’re actually listening to the things he or she says. This will demonstrate that you value your crush’s opinion and that you’re thinking about him or her even when you step away from the computer. Here’s how to do it:
- If your crush recommends an album, listen to it. This will give you something to talk about too.
- If your crush recommends you buy a certain type of phone, pair of shoes, or whatever, if you think his or her advice is sound, take it. Then you can thank your crush for the tip.
- However, don’t rush off to do whatever your crush says. If he recommends a movie, don’t watch it instantly and report back the next day. Take a week or two to say, “Hey, I watched that movie you recommended, and it was amazing.”
- 3 Show an interest in your crush’s life. You should show that not only are you an interesting person, but that you care about your crush as a person. Try to strike a balance between talking about yourself, your common interests, and your crush. Here are some ways to do this:
- Ask your crush how his or her week is going. This will get your crush to reveal some information what’s going on in his or her life.
- If your crush told you he or she went to a concert, tennis match, or restaurant, ask how it was.
- Ask your crush his or her opinion on a certain topic. This will show that you value what he or she has to say.
- Don’t pry. You can casually ask about his or her interests, friends, or even family, but don’t ask so many questions that you’re getting too personal or sound like you’re leading an interview.
- 4 Ask your crush to hang out, If things are going well and you feel that the timing is right, don’t be afraid to invite your crush to take your relationship beyond the internet. If you’ve gotten to know your crush, you can do this casually and not make a big deal about it. Here’s how:
- Ask your crush what he or she has going on that weekend. If your crush says he’s pretty free, suggest a casual hang out. Say, “Cool, me too-want to grab lunch?”
- If your crush’s favorite band or comedian is coming to town, ask if he wants to go to a show together.
- If you’re throwing a party or going out with a big group of friends, invite your crush. This will be a very low-pressure hang out, and will give you a feel for each other before you go on a real date.
- 1 Don’t be too eager to talk to your crush. To play it cool, you have to show that while you enjoy talking to your crush, your life does not revolve around him or her. Here are some ways to make this clear;
- Don’t talk to your crush every single time you sign online. Talk to him or her every second or third time you sign on. This will show that you’re not only going online to continue your conversation.
- Don’t respond to everything he or she says too quickly. If you respond the second he or she asks you a question, this will make it look like you’re obsessed with your conversation. If you don’t answer right away, your crush will see that you’re talking to other people, or doing other things too.
- 2 Don’t underestimate the secret screen name. Get a secret screen name that no one knows about to see what your crush is doing when he thinks you’re not online. This can help you have a better sense of what your crush really thinks about you, and can help you cool it during your interactions.
- If you see that your crush isn’t online much when he doesn’t think you’re online, this can suggest that he’s online for the same reason you are-to continue flirting!
- If you see that your crush is just always online, it may mean that he’ll talk to whoever-whenever. This may also suggest that he doesn’t have a life.
- Log on to your secret screen name after you say goodbye to your crush. Does your crush sign off right away? This may show that he’s only sticking around to talk to you.
- 3 Don’t be too enthusiastic during your conversation. It’s great to show that you think your crush is an engaging, exciting, and fun person, but if you overdo it, you may end up looking too obsessive. Here are some things to avoid:
- Minimize your use of “LOL” or “hahaha”-this will make it look like you’re trying too hard to be funny.
- Avoid too many emoticons. This can get annoying and will make you look immature.
- If your crush doesn’t respond right away, don’t immediately follow up with a series of question marks or say, “Where did you go???” This will make it look like your world revolves around your crush’s answers.
- 1 Sign off while things are still interesting. It’s important to sign off at the right time so you leave your special someone wanting more. You shouldn’t leave too soon, but should say goodbye while things are still interesting. Here’s how to do it:
- Wait for an interesting conversation to start wrapping up, and say you have to go. That way you can say one or two more things about the topic and then say goodbye. This will leave your crush wanting to talk to you more, and will help you avoid that long awkward pause that may happen after an hour of chatting when both of you are running out of things to say.
- 2 Give a compelling reason for signing off. If you want to play it cool, you shouldn’t be too obvious about why you’re leaving and make your crush think you are interesting and mysterious. Here’s how to do it:
- Casually say, “I’m going out now,” so your crush wonders where you’re going and who you’re going with. Leave it ambiguous. This will also make it sound like you have lots of friends and an active social life.
- Even if you have no reason to go, don’t say so. Don’t say, “Well, I guess I better stop chatting so much,” or “Gotta go water my plants.” This will make it sound like you have nothing exciting going on in your life.
- 3 Show that you had a great time talking to your crush. You don’t have to be obvious about it, but you can let your crush know that you had fun chatting and that you’re looking forward to talking again. Here’s what you should say:
- “It’s been fun talking to you” or “thanks for the advice about.” Let him know that the conversation was meaningful without overdoing it.
- “I’ll talk to you soon.” This will show that you are excited to talk to him again, but that you won’t spend hours waiting around to see his screen name pop up again.
- Don’t be creepy, Avoid saying things like, “That was the best conversation I’ve had in my entire life” or “What time will you be online again so we can chat more???”
Add New Question
- Question What should I talk to my crush about? This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness. wikiHow Staff Editor Staff Answer If you know that you share a common interest, chat about that! You can also try asking questions to get to know them better, like “So, what do you like to do in your free time?”
- Question How do I talk to my crush online? This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness. wikiHow Staff Editor Staff Answer Try opening with something casual, like, “Hey, how’s it going?” Keep the conversation light and playful and avoid heavy or negative topics so you don’t overwhelm your crush. If your crush responds with long, detailed responses, that’s a good sign that they’re interested in chatting. If they don’t answer or stick to one-word answers, they might not feel like chatting. If that happens, back off and try again another time.
- Question If I tell my crush that she is beautiful and she responds with a blush sticker, does she like me? Maybe. The only thing that you should do is not assume anything or expect too much.
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- Be relaxed in the way you talk to them. Don’t reply to them instantly; it makes you seem too keen.
- Most importantly, just be yourself. Don’t try too hard; don’t even try too hard to not try too hard. After all, do you want them falling in love with someone who isn’t even the real you?
- If your crush does not talk back straight away, do not nudge him. He may just be away from his computer.
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- If you’re meeting up with a person you’ve only met online, make sure to do it in a public place, like a park or a coffee shop. This way, you can make sure he’s not a creep. Don’t meet at his apartment or another place where you can’t get immediate help if something goes wrong.
- If you know your crush outside of the Internet, then these tips will work best. If it’s a person you online know online but are developing a crush on, make sure he is who he says he is before you reveal personal information like your phone number and address.
- You may be falling in love with your crush online, and can be very disappointed when you actually meet. He may have a charming online persona but could be a real dud in person-it happens all the time.
- An Instagram account
- A computer or a phone
- Your crush’s Instagram
- The Internet
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What to say when it’s awkward?
Find Humor in Awkward Conversations – If a conversation has become awkward, consider doing something to lighten the mood. You can do this by telling a funny joke or story, poking fun at yourself, or finding the humor in your current situation. Keeping the mood light will help to break the ice and move the conversation forward.
How do you make small talk when shy?
An Introvert’s Guide To Small Talk: Eight Painless Tips Introverts tend to dread small talk. They worry that it will be boring, awkward, or that they’ll run out of things to say. But in today’s world, small talk is difficult to avoid. Cocktail parties, networking events, and even the line for coffee at work may require a brief exchange of pleasantries.
- Many introverts would be surprised to discover that small talk doesn’t have to be painful.
- By learning a few simple techniques, you can polish your conversational skills and make a positive impression.
- Here are eight tips to master the art of small talk.1.
- Reduce anxiety.
- Introverts may approach small talk with anxiety, ranging from slight apprehension to debilitating dread.
One introvert told me that he hides in the bathroom or fiddles with his phone to avoid idle chitchat. To curb your anxiety, stay rational and positive. Tell yourself any of the following (the first four tips are adapted from Alan Garner’s excellent book, ):
“The anxiety is coming from me and my beliefs, not the situation. I can do this.” “What’s the worse that can happen? If they don’t like me, so what?” “Just because happened in the past, doesn’t mean it will happen again.” “Labels don’t define me. I’m an interesting, worthy person with a lot to contribute.” “Everyone needs someone to talk to at networking events. If I strike up a conversation with that person, he or she will probably be glad to have someone to talk to.” “I will reward myself with a quiet evening on the couch, watching my favorite movie.”
2. Be purposeful. Thoughts tend to be self-fulfilling. If you approach small talk with the belief that it will be dull and pointless, it probably will. Instead of dwelling on negative thoughts (“I’m awful at this,” “I hate small talk,” or “when can I go home?”), remind yourself that small talk isn’t superficial.
- Small talk serves an important purpose – it helps build the foundation for authentic conversations and deeper relationships down the road.
- Think of small talk as the light appetizer before the main course, and approach it with renewed purpose.3.
- Channel your curiosity.
- Introverts tend to be curious people.
They love digging deep, delving into topics that interest them, and learning what makes people tick. Channel your natural curiosity into small talk. When you ask “how are you?” or “how was your weekend?”, approach the conversation with genuine interest.
- Carefully listen to the other person, and provide a thoughtful response.
- If you show true interest, you’ll invite further discussion and set a positive tone for future interactions.4.
- Ask questions.
- Introverts tend to feel uncomfortable in the spotlight.
- They are often reluctant to disclose too much about themselves, especially to new people.
So how can you start conversations and keep them flowing? The answer is simple – ask questions. By allowing the other person to take center stage initially, you can build your comfort level and test the waters before sharing your own thoughts. If you feel uncomfortable or fatigued mid-conversation, ask more questions and subtly turn the attention away from yourself.
- But do not be tempted to let the other person do all the talking! See tip #5.) 5.
- Add juicy tidbits.
- If you relentlessly pepper the other person with questions, it will feel like an interrogation.
- At some point, you must share a bit about yourself.
- Do not provide one-word, closed responses; these cut the conversation short.
Instead, embellish your responses with juicy tidbits of information. By providing multi-faceted responses, you can provide “hooks” for the other person to continue the conversation. For example:
Question: “How are you?” Short response: “Fine.” Better response: “Good, thanks. I’m getting ready for my vacation to England. It will be my first time in Europe, and I look forward to trying proper English tea.” Question: “Where are you from?” Short response: “Seattle.” Better response: “I’m from Seattle. It doesn’t rain all the time, and I enjoyed the amazing seafood and coffee. There are Starbucks on every corner.” Question: “What did you do this weekend?” Short response: “I went house-hunting.” Better response: “I went house-hunting. We’re considering the city versus the suburbs. We can get more house in the suburbs, but the trade-off is the commute.”
6. Deepen the conversation. Simple questions tend to elicit a one-word answer. Open-ended questions, on the other hand, can spark longer and richer discussions. Start with simple questions. After all, you don’t want to scare the other person away. In Conversationally Speaking: Tested New Ways to Increase Your Personal and Social Effectiveness, Alan Garner suggests following up simple questions with open-ended ones.
“Where are you from?”, followed by “What is your hometown like? How is it different than here?” “What do you do?”, followed by “How did you enter that profession? What brought you to that type of work?” “Have you attended events organized by this group before?” followed by “What did you think of today’s presentation?”
7. Recognize cues. Introverts are often misunderstood. Other people may interpret the introvert’s reserved nature as snobbish, or they may find an introvert’s deep passion for a particular topic to be too intense or serious. As an introvert, you can search for cues and learn to respond appropriately.
For example, if the other person seems taken aback by your reserved nature, be sure to smile and express genuine enthusiasm in the conversation. Or if the other person starts to get fidgety while you’re speaking at length on a subject, it’s probably time to switch to another topic or wrap up the conversation.8.
Be kind to yourself. Introverts are typically introspective souls who can concentrate for long periods of time. However, this gift can become a curse when introverts dwell on their own perceived faults and failures. If a particular endeavor didn’t go well, introverts may replay the episode in their minds and berate themselves for not doing things differently.
- If you botched up a conversation or wish you hadn’t said this or that, take a few minutes to reflect and focus on your “takeaway” lesson for next time.
- Then simply let it go.
- Everyone makes mistakes.
- To accomplish anything worthwhile, you must be willing to fail many times (and occasionally look silly) before achieving success.
WATCH: Three tips for leaders under 30 : An Introvert’s Guide To Small Talk: Eight Painless Tips
Is Hey or Hi more flirty?
‘Hey’ is more informal. It’s thrown around casually with close friends, family, someone you know, or as a flirt. Most people use this a daily basis.
What is a good first text?
10 Ways to Text a Girl for the First Time
- Remind her who you are so she can save your number. If you met on a dating app or in person, just send her a quick text with your name included. Keep it short and sweet, and don’t send anything too long in your first message. Try something like:
- “Hey it’s James from Tinder!”
- “Hey! It’s Marissa from the party last night.”
- “How’s it going? This is Sam, we met the other day.”
- “What’s up? It’s Candice, Jamie’s friend.”
- You probably talked to her a little bit when you got her number. Whether you or in person, you can continue your conversation wherever you left off. It’s an easy way to keep a conversation going, and you already know she likes talking about the subject! Say something like:
- “So, we never finished our debate last night: are hot dogs a sandwich?”
- “I had to leave so early last night that I never heard your answer—did you grow up around here?”
Long-winded text messages can be overwhelming. As you two chat, keep your down to one or two lines at most. Don’t send paragraphs, and try not to text her more than once in a row without a reply. You want to keep her attention, but you also don’t want to make her read a novel when she opens her phone. Advertisement
- Keep a conversation going with, These are ones that she can’t just answer with “yes” or “no.” As she answers, you can also give your own answers so you’re both sharing a little bit about yourselves. Try questions like:
- “Where’d you grow up?”
- “How many siblings do you have?”
- “What do you like to do for fun?”
- Try to something other than her appearance. You might tell her that she’s fun to talk to, that you love getting to know her, or that she seems really cool. Most girls are flattered by compliments, and she might even give you one in return! Say something like:
- “You seem like such a cool person. I’m really glad I’m getting the chance to get to know you.”
- “I had such a fun time talking to you at that party the other day.”
- “I have such an easy time talking to you.”
- Maybe you two watch the same show or do the same hobby. Whatever it is, you can ask her about it to keep a fun going. Plus, you’ll get to know a little bit about her in the process! If you aren’t sure what you guys have in common yet, try looking her up on social media to get an idea of what she likes to do. Say something like:
- “Have you been watching the new season of Riverdale? I’m almost caught up!”
- “How long have you been surfing? I’ve been going since I was a little kid!”
- “Whoa, you like to rollerblade too? I can never find anyone to go skating with me.”
- It’s an easy way to her opinion. If she’s lived in the area longer than you have, maybe you can ask her for a nice restaurant nearby. Or, if she loves to read, you could ask her if she has any book recommendations for you. Say something like:
- “Where’s your favorite place to eat downtown?”
- “Have you read any good books lately?”
- “What’s your favorite coffee shop in this area?”
- That way, you can both each other. As you two text back and forth, open up to her and answer any questions she has. She’ll probably feel more comfortable about meeting up with you, too, if that’s your end goal.
- An easy way to share things is to talk about yourself, then ask her a similar question.
- For instance, you might say, “I grew up in Houston, but I moved to Austin when I was 18. Where’d you grow up?”
- Or, “I’m not a huge fan of baseball, but I love basketball. Do you watch any sports?”
- If you, make your intentions known. Texting is fine, but hanging out IRL is the best way to get to know a girl. Ask her if she has time in her schedule to grab dinner or go get coffee. Don’t wait too long to ask her out, or she might think you aren’t interested. Say something like:
- “Hey, do you have any free time next week? I’d love to grab a coffee.”
- “Do you have any plans tomorrow? Want to grab dinner?”
- “I really enjoy talking to you. Would you ever want to continue this conversation in person?”
- Question How do you save a dry conversation? Dating & Relationship Coach Suzanna Mathews is a Dating and Relationship Coach and the Founder of The Date Maven. With over a decade of experience, she specializes in creating mindset tools, social strategies, and digital strategies that help her clients elevate dating and deepen connections. Suzanna holds a BA in Communications from Bethel College, North Newton, and an MA in Theater and Dramatic Arts from Wichita State University. Throw something random out! All you have to do is say is “hey, quick question” or “hey, random thought.” This gives you permission to bring up just about anything.
- Question What kind of questions should I ask to get a conversation going? Dating & Relationship Coach Mark Rosenfeld is a Dating and Relationship Coach for women and founded Make Him Yours in 2015. Mark specializes in helping people find, attract, and keep extraordinary relationships. He has been featured in Style Magazine, Thought Catalog, Elite Daily, News.com.au, and The Good Men Project. Mark’s dating videos have received over 60 million views, and his book “Make Him Yours – Beating the Odds of Modern Dating” was a best-seller on Amazon on its release. I’m not fond of the questions approach if it’s the first time you two have talked. It’s just a little cliché and boring. I actually prefer statements. Say something about yourself or say something about them to provoke a question on their end. You want to be the pond, not the fishing pole here! That’s how you cultivate some mystery and generate conversation.
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Advertisement Co-authored by: Dating & Relationship Coach This article was co-authored by and by wikiHow staff writer,, Mark Rosenfeld is a Dating and Relationship Coach for women and founded Make Him Yours in 2015. Mark specializes in helping people find, attract, and keep extraordinary relationships.
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Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 614,377 times. : 10 Ways to Text a Girl for the First Time
Which is better hi or hey?
If you are in doubt, use ‘hi. ‘ Both are friendly, and informal but hey could be a little pushier. More aggressive, but only a tiny bit.
Should I say hi or hey to my crush?
Download Article Download Article Saying hi to your crush can seem intimidating, and maybe you’re not sure what to say after “hello.” Luckily, there are lots of different things you can say to keep the conversation going. Avoid overthinking the timing of your hello and go right up to your crush, showing confidence.
- 1 Add something on to your text besides just “Hello” to start a conversation. If you’re texting your crush, avoid sending a text that just says “hey.” This doesn’t tell your crush anything specific about why you’re talking to them and is hard to respond to. Even adding on a simple, “how are you?” after your hello is a better conversation starter.
- You could say, “Hey! Did you write down the homework for English today? I forgot to!” or “Hi Tyler, your science project looked awesome!”
- 2 Ask your crush a question about their day to keep talking to them. Say your hello and then ask them something like, “How was the concert practice?” or “How did your English quiz go?” These questions begin a natural conversation and help you get to know your crush as you’re texting them.
- Asking questions is a good way to show your crush that you’re interested in what they have to say.
- You might ask, “Are you feeling better?” if your crush has been sick, or “What did you think of the field trip today?” if you went on a class trip.
- 3 Text them a funny meme as your hello to make them smile. Find a meme that says hello for you, showing a picture of an animal or TV character. Find a meme that just says hello, pick one that demonstrates how you’re feeling, or choose one that talks about something that might have happened during the day.
- For example, pick out a meme of Joey from “Friends” with the caption, “how you doin?” or a simple meme of a cute sea animal saying hi.
- Funny memes are also a great way to show your creative side.
- 4 Reach out to your crush on social media if you know their handle. Find your crush’s profile on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, or another form of social media to follow them. Send them a message or tag them in a post you think they might like to start up a conversation.
- For example, you might tag them in the comment section of a funny video so they’ll get to watch it, saying, “This totally reminded me of you!” or something similar.
- Talking to your crush through social media while also texting them is okay.
- 5 Avoid talking to them too late at night or too early in the morning. While it’s totally okay to text your crush outside of school hours, make sure you think about what time it is before talking to them. You don’t want to wake your crush up with your text by sending it too early or too late. Pick a time where they’re likely to be free and have time to talk, such as in the afternoon after school or the early evening.
- 1 Gather the courage to talk to your crush by giving yourself a pep talk. The thought of going up to your crush to say hello might be making you nervous. To help yourself find the courage to go up to them, remind yourself that your crush is a person just like you are, and talking to them shouldn’t be any different than talking to anyone else.
- Count to three if you notice yourself hesitating to talk to your crush. Once you get to three, go right up to them!
- 2 Give a quick hello when you pass them in the hallways. If you see your crush while you’re walking somewhere and don’t have time for a real conversation, say hello and then their name so they know you’re talking to them. Smile as you say hello and try to make eye contact, showing that you’re friendly and would like to talk some other time.
- For example, if you see your crush as you’re walking to your seat, say, “Hey, Adam!” with a smile and keep walking.
- Speak loudly and clear enough so that your crush hears you.
- Not only does making eye contact make you look more confident, but it also helps spark a connection between the two of you.
- 3 Go up to your crush when they’re free to talk to avoid interrupting them. Going up to your crush to say hello can be nerve-racking, but if you see a moment when they’re waiting outside of class or chatting with 1 or 2 people, go up to them! There’s no need to overthink the timing, and being proactive about it will make you feel more confident and in control.
- Avoid going up to them if they’re talking on the phone.
- 4 Wait until they’re alone to talk to them in more depth. If you don’t mind talking to them when they’re with their friends, great! Otherwise, wait for them to be alone, like when they’re at their locker or waiting for a class to start. This puts less pressure on you and makes the conversation flow more naturally.
- If you just want to say a quick, “Hi, how are you?” instead of a longer conversation, it’s okay to talk to them when they’re around others.
- You might say something like, “Hi Jack, I wanted to ask you how your soccer game went last weekend! Did you guys win?”
- 5 Ask them for their social media handle or phone number. If the conversation goes well or you just want to continue talking to them, ask for their phone number if you don’t already have it. You could also add them on social media like Instagram or Snapchat to talk to them there too.
- After talking about interesting books, you might say, “What’s your phone number? I’ll text you the names of a few other books I think you might like.”
- 1 Give your crush a compliment to let them know what you like about them. Say hello and then compliment your crush, saying something like, “You did a great job in the basketball game last night!” or “Your Spanish presentation was great!” Simple compliments will help start a conversation while hinting that you like them.
- For a more direct compliment, you might say, “That shirt looks great on you!”
- Other compliments might be, “You have a great singing voice!” or “I really like the stickers on your laptop!”
- 2 Bring up something you have in common for an easy conversation starter. This could be a class you both take or a sport you’re both interested in. If you already know of something you have in common with your crush, this is a great way to start a conversation after you say hello.
- Ask about a friend you both have in common or a show you both watch.
- You might say, “We have that history test coming up, how are you going to study for it?” or “Are you going to Sam’s birthday party this weekend?”
- 3 Talk about an event coming up to spark conversation. Maybe there’s a pep rally coming up or a play that’s going to take place. Bring up an activity that you might both be interested in that’s happening soon. This is a great way to continue talking, and you might even end up making plans to see each other at the event.
- For example, say, “Did you hear about the fundraiser happening this weekend? It sounds like fun!” or “I’m playing in the basketball game tomorrow, you should come!”
- 4 Ask them questions about their family or hobbies to get to know them better. After saying hello, start asking them open-ended questions to keep the conversation going. You might ask about their siblings, what they do on the weekends, or who their favorite musicians are. By asking questions, you’ll show that you’re interested in their life while also getting to know them more.
- Ask something like, “What did you do over the weekend?” or “I’m out of Netflix shows, what’re you currently watching?”
- Avoid questions that lead to yes or no answers to keep the conversation going.
- 5 Comment on things around you if there’s an awkward silence. If you find yourself in an awkward silence after saying hello, look around for something to comment on, such as your crush’s backpack, clothing, or an activity happening around you and say something nice. This will help you start up a conversation quickly without the silence lasting too long.
- For example, you might say, “The buttons on your backpack are cool, where did you get each of them?” or “It looks like they’re playing frisbee outside! Have you ever played?”
- 6 Avoid trying too hard to keep talking if they text you one-word replies. If you text your crush and they respond with just one word like “Cool” or “K,” this either means that they’re super busy and just don’t have time to talk right now, or they’re not super interested in talking.
- If they respond with “Good” and don’t say anything else, you might send an emoji of a smiley face. If they respond to the emoji, great! If they don’t, try texting them the next day.
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- Question What if he doesn’t like me back? JT Tran is a Dating Coach and a Dating Advice Columnist for LA Weekly and Baller Magazine. JT also runs the ABCs of Attraction, a dating boot camp where he specializes in coaching Asian men and women on how to navigate the cultural and social sensitivities associated with Asian dating culture. Dating Coach Expert Answer All you can do is put yourself out there. You don’t have any control beyond that. I know that’s a little scary, but you’re just going to have to be okay with it if the feelings aren’t reciprocal.
- Question Is it better to be direct or suggestive? JT Tran is a Dating Coach and a Dating Advice Columnist for LA Weekly and Baller Magazine. JT also runs the ABCs of Attraction, a dating boot camp where he specializes in coaching Asian men and women on how to navigate the cultural and social sensitivities associated with Asian dating culture. Dating Coach Expert Answer It kind of depends on your personal style and how comfortable you are putting yourself out there. People process and react to things differently, so you want to take the other person’s style and feelings into account. If you’re just flirting and he’s kind of shy, it may be better to be suggestive. If he’s a confident, outspoken person, you may want to be more direct.
- Question How do I ask a guy out if he’s out of my league? JT Tran is a Dating Coach and a Dating Advice Columnist for LA Weekly and Baller Magazine. JT also runs the ABCs of Attraction, a dating boot camp where he specializes in coaching Asian men and women on how to navigate the cultural and social sensitivities associated with Asian dating culture. Dating Coach Expert Answer If your confidence isn’t there, build it up first. Get to know him, let him see how cool you are, and remember that you’re a catch. You could try pumping yourself up by putting on your cutest outfit, psyching yourself up, or using some kind of positive affirmation.
See more answers Ask a Question 200 characters left Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Submit Advertisement Article Summary X Saying hello to your crush can seem scary and intimidating, but if you can find the right moment and gather up the courage to do it, you’ll be surprised at how easy it can be.
Look for the right moment when they’re free to talk so they’re not distracted, like in between classes or during lunch. You should probably wait until they’re alone so you don’t feel the pressure of having other people watch. Then, work up the courage to talk to them by giving yourself a quick pep talk.
Remind yourself that they’re a normal person just like you are, and it’s no big deal to go up to them and say hello. When the moment seems right, take a deep breath, walk over to them, and try saying some direct like, “Hey, how are you?” If they seem interested in talking to you, you can keep the conversation going from there.